Stella embraces change

Stella must be feeling this upsweep of change, and she seems to be rolling with it. She woke up this morning and had hardly opened her eyes when she exclaimed "I want to get my ears pierced today!" She has talked about it a few times before, but always shyed away in the end. Today she was determined. Off we went to the (gasp) mall. She was very brave! Now she is singing about it. wish you could hear it.

new skin

So, i had a little bit of a meltdown yesterday,the likes of which we haven't seen in a while around here. Maybe its because its freaking 50 degrees out and its June, maybe its because my tomato plants keep getting monched by deer, maybe its because my little girl will be in all day kindergarten next year and theres a part of me that wants to cry because of what that means, maybe its because of the part of me that wants to celebrate because of what that means, maybe its also that my little boy turned 8 ( and 8 just seems to be one of those milestones), maybe i'm seeing how fleeting our time is together and it is sharp and all those times of yelling stab at me when i think of how quickly this is going by and why did i waste any minutes being angry? Maybe its because i forget over and over and have to remember it over and over. Maybe its also that I am scared and excited and stressed about this summer, maybe its the mix of being amazed and grateful for all the shows i got into, the galleries lining up, and the fear that i won't live up to this. Maybe its that i'm not medicated, but caffeinated.
Whatever it is/was, my heart cracked and my mind sunk down into it and there was nothing but the blurry sharpness of emotion running through my body. I even threw things. Wonderful patient Scott suggested i go do something, take a nap, a walk, something (so that he could fix the things i threw!). I lay down and couldn't think, couldn't know what i should do to get the thick out of my blood. And then it came shooting through and i knew. The thing i had been wanting to do that somehow today needed to be done. The forever reminder painted on my body of this precious chaotic time of my life. Reminding me how fleeting and ferocious childhood is, and how I am so lucky to get to experience it again by being near Maia and Stella. How lucky I am to get the opportunity to love them and learn from them, and if i'm worth my weight, teach them something useful.
So i went, the sharpness of my emotions were a perfect match to the sharpness of the needle, and when it was all over I cried, because there was a piece of the puzzle put into place. It's not so much about what it is on the outside of me, but about how what's on the inside is playing itself out in my life. And I'm so very lucky to have such nice creatures to constantly show me the things i overlook.




Stella's rendition of she and maia, drawn when she was 4, i know we were living at the Guerrier Rd house. She's on my Left.
Maia's original Nice Monster. Drawn when he was 4, going to the Community School. He's on my right.
I Heart My Creatures!

more more

Stella learned to ride her bike! She's had her training wheels off for a while, and we had practiced and practiced. Finally one day she said that she just wanted her training wheels back on, I told her when the dad gets home he'll put them back, until then lets just try once more. That was it. She suddenly got it. I could feel it in my hands as i was holding on to the seat. It was so exciting, she said that it felt like she was dreaming, and it left me wondering if thats what it feels like for a parent as the kids leave the nest, flying on their own...
The neighbors came out to celebrate Stella's accomplishment, champagne and all!

The kids love their sidewalk chalk art. I love it more.

I think she's a slight genius.

And cute to boot!

The back yard, looking into the side. I just like that its green.

The girls picnic, with the dad.

The girls crashing the boys picnic

Nieghborhood boys came to keep maia company when he wasn't feeling well.

one of many fashion shows on any given day. My life is full of frills and shows. i love it.

Maia and Stella taking their cousin Loren on a walk to the park.

Part of our new backyard, where the garden was going to be originally...

The garden starting. Turns out I'm going to move it.

Over the fence is undevelopable land, which the kids play in all the time. You can see the water and the boats. maia has many forts.

lemonade

It's only been 8 months. I'm right on schedule with this update, i'm sure.
Things are picking up significantly around here, and as the emails and phone messages pile up, i'm considering that maybe this will be a good way to keep in touch while i'm in the midst of the craziest art season yet.
Maia and Stella are great, they love the new digs, and we have fantastic neighvors...we hardly see the kids any more except within the blur of the bikes swiftly sailing back and forth along the driveway/road. Summer can't come soon enough.
Stella had her kindergarten open house last night. we met her teacher, hung out in the classroom and she loved loved loved it. She'll be in all day kindergarten, which, although I feel a bit of a pang at the thought of my baby there all day, she is so severely ready for.
So, lemonade. We went out to dinner the other night ( i had just arrived back from a show in Spokane, i missed stelly's ballet recital, so we celebrated at the Sushi House). I ordered a sushi roll from the specials, called "sex on the beach". Maia promptly made a face and giggled. The waitress asked what in the world he could be giggling at! He made some comment about sushi being sexy! So we decided to have a hilarious talk about the birds and the bees, attempting to use birds and bees quite literally, pollen and buzzing and whatnot. In the midst of it all maia said "I know, I know, its like when you have a lemon, and you make lemonade". .............what can you say to that? we decided that basically, he's right.

The next day i had hives. I think i'm allergic to "Sex on the beach"